


By Steven

by aenor_llelo



Series: For A Diamond Is A Marveled Thing [14]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Steven Universe (Cartoon), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Adoption, And They Were Brothers (Oh My God They Were Brothers), Brotherly Affection, Cute Kids, Discussions Of Time And Time Travel, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Injury, Post-Battle of New York (Marvel), Steven Just Really Loves His Wife Okay, Steven Makes A Rose Style Tape, Steven Makes A Vlog Diary For A Baby: More At 11, Steven Slowly Tricking Himself Into Adopting A Child Over The Course Of Like A Month, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:22:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 4,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24647911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aenor_llelo/pseuds/aenor_llelo
Summary: After the Battle of New York, Steven makes a tape of his own.
Relationships: Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe
Series: For A Diamond Is A Marveled Thing [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1604959
Comments: 145
Kudos: 529





	1. To Morion Vairam,

**Author's Note:**

> This work is part of a series. You most likely won't understand what's going on if you did not read the previous parts. Please read the previous parts.

* * *

_-yes, there we are._

_-Hello, hello. Can you hear me?-_

-

_Well, the sound is working. Good, good._

_Hey there. I am- I am Asteria Diamond._

_Ah, what am I botherin' for? You'll already know that, won't you?_

_You've probably got some questions, like- "Wow, why is Asteria Diamond talking to me on a tape?" Well, uh-_

* * *

(The screen pans down. There's a small child in his arms, no older than one.)

* * *

_That's you._ _Morion Vairam._

_Well, maybe not anymore. I guess when we find your parents, you'll obviously be going by your, uh, real name._

_I just- you needed a name while you were staying with us, and we didn't know yours, so I gave you one._

_So, what's a human kid like you doin' with someone like me? Well..._

* * *

It's so _small._

Stevonnie had never realized how small children could be in their arms.

A dollish hand peaked out of the rubble, blood haloed around them and _so, so small._

And they cried.

* * *

_...I found you. In New York. In the... after the fight. I won't talk about it. You'll probably read about it in like, school or something._

_You were alone, so I got you out._

_Connie had to go home, and there was nowhere to take you. Shelters weren't all up yet, y'know? So now I'm just kind of... carrying you around?_

_Ain't any trouble. You're pretty small. I could carry you forever._

_I don't even know why I'm making this. I guess..._

_One day, when you're older, you'll watch this. And I... maybe I could see you again? Just once, y'know. Just to follow through._

_I want to see the person you grew up to be._

_So..._

_...until next time, Vairam. I'll see you_ _soon._

* * *


	2. Or Maybe I Just Like Hearing The Sound Of My Own Voice

* * *

_Hey there, Vairam. Back at it again with another update on baby town._

_You, uh..._

_You're... weirdly attached to the sound of my voice._

_Like, straight gemsong._

_I'm trying to talk to my Gems and whenever I do you get this super intense look on your face like_ **BWOWOWOWOWO-**

_...don't mind that. Stray Chitauri chariot went off._

_Actually, please just pretend I just randomly made that sound with my mouth. It's funnier._

_You're a weird kid, huh. Humans are usually freaked out by gemsong, but you're handling it like a champ._

_You even seem to like it._

_Or maybe you just like me?_

_...well, I like you too. So we're even._

_Or maybe I'm just readin' too hard into things and this is all just an excuse to hear myself talk, HAH-_

* * *


	3. Speaking Of My Wife,

* * *

_Ah, Vairam. Forgot to tell you who Connie was._

_That's my knight. My First Knight._

_(Also she's my wife and I love her, ssssshhh don't tell anyone.)_

_I'm kidding. This was a joke. Human joke. Please tell everyone I love my wife._

_She was there too, at New York when it all went down. We fished you outta the dirt together. Like carrots!_

* * *

(The screen goes crooked as he waves down at the child with his clawed hands.)

* * *

_Baby carrot, baby carrot, baby baby baby..._

_I've gone and distracted ourselves again, haven't we?_

_YES! CONNIE!_

_She's my wife! She collects knives like a pointy dragon and I love her._

_Maybe you could meet her too! If it feels too weird to just meet a Gem all by your lonesome._

_Not that I'm saying you'd have to show up alone, if we ever met up. Bring your family! It'd be nice to meet them again, after returning you to 'em._

_Or just bring a friend. Whatever you want, Vairam._

* * *


	4. I Have To Admit,

* * *

_Full disclosure, I know nothing about human babies. Insulting, I know._

_I've just never needed to. Gem's don't really do the whole baby thing._

_Well, Amethyst acts like a big ol' baby sometimes. I could tell you about her sometime, she's great._

_...I've been making rounds the shelters. A lot of people got hurt._

_You got hurt, too._

_But it's okay! I fixed it! I fixed it and now you're fine! Everything's fine._

_Someone... someone lost their arm. I couldn't... there was nothing we could do. There was nothing I could do._

_I don't know what I'm doing. This is..._

_...why am I telling you this? You don't need to hear this kind of stuff._

_Sorry, Vairam. I'll pick this back up when I'm not being so... weird._

* * *


	5. Fairy Fruit

* * *

_Good news, Vairam! You like gemfruit!_

* * *

_Bad news, Vairam. You ate gemfruit and have refused to eat anything else since._

_Is this a thing? Is this a babies thing? Do you just get that one food you like and spurn all else like a jilted lover?_

_Please eat a human food, I am concerned about your health._

* * *


	6. But Honey, I Can't Sleep

* * *

_Stars, I can't sleep._

_Not that I really need to, not that much, but still. I can't sleep, even when I try. I close my eyes and..._

_and..._

_...nevermind! Check this out!_

* * *

(The camera pans around. It's a strange homey space, like the inside of some old caravan tent, complete with a curtained entrance. There's a low-set table and a bunch of cushion chairs. He's sitting in the largest one. It's a stately grey, embroidered with arabesque in Diamond's colors.)

* * *

_My palanquin! Pretty cool, right?_

_Like a tent... office... thing._

_I set up camp at the evac site. There's still alot of people with complex medical situations goin' on, and the, uh... cleanup._

_But you seem to be having alot of fun here, at least. Maybe it's all the pink and fluff._

_Where'd you go, Vairam?_

* * *

(There's a child patting their hands on the table.)

* * *

_Ouch. Disrespecting the war table. Rude._

_Come on, kid._

* * *

(He picks up the child in his arms.)

* * *

_I've been out there doin' ground work. Lifting, digging, that sort of thing. The humans are saying I'm going "above and beyond" for being out there like everyone else- honestly._

_I have the strength. I have the means. Why wouldn't I be out there like everyone else?_

_I can't ask people to go out there while I sit around doing nothing._

_Also, can't sleep._

_It's not too bad. But, uh... you haven't been sleeping either. I think you've been trying to stay up with me. That's why I've been trying to sleep, even if I don't quite need to yet._

_It's a bit weird. I'm not sure how much human babies are supposed to sleep. Is this normal? Tell me if you're still having sleeping problems if we meet up again, this seems... odd. I hope you don't have some kind of baby insomnia._

* * *


	7. Who Do You Belong To?

* * *

_Alright Vairam, back to the daily grind._

_It's... day five? Of all this nonsense._

_The human news is starting to get nosy. Don't like it. They're getting in the way of us doing our job. Honestly, we're having an ongoing crisis, we don't have time for interviews!_

_One brave idiot tried to film the injured. Some people, man._

_I don't really get human media sometimes. Tell me about it sometime if you ever get it._

_You've been tryin' to follow me around, so I've just been carrying you again._

_Y'know, something weird happened earlier, I..._

* * *

"Oh, Your Raidance, let me take the kid off your hands-"

Asteria Diamond _hisses_ , deep and slow, diamond eyes slit to crosshairs. Then they blink to themselves a few times.

"Sorry," they mutter. "That was... rude. Shouldn't have done that."

They walk on, child still nestled on their arm.

* * *

_...for some reason I can't quite seem to let you go. It's weird._

_...hold on, Vairam. I'll be back._

* * *


	8. No, Seriously, Did Anyone Lose A Baby Boy? Asking For A Friend

* * *

_I've been up at the rounds again._

_It's been what, a week now? This whole... thing, it's been goin' hard on my ichors, I think I'm starting to go low. Humans have a lot more structural stuff t'fix in their bodies than Gems, and I've had to repair the roads and cars to get emergency traffic through._

_You actually managed to sleep! Only took you six days._

_Been askin' around if there's any unnacounted for kids, but I guess not. Your parents, they've got to be around here somewhere, I..._

_Oh, Connie suggested we do, like. DNA testing or something. We have been cataloguing all the sur-sur-sur-sur-surrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr_

_vivors._

_...wait, what was I..._

_I..._

* * *

"Steven, are you okay?"

* * *

_...I think I need to sleep..._

* * *

(The camera drops. Something falls on the ground, just out of view.)

* * *

_"Hey! Steven? Steven, wake up!"_

_"...w'whatsit…"_

_"Hey there, buddy."_

_"...my head, I..."_

_"Y'kinda passed out for a hot minute there. I think you might've bled yourself out too much."_

_"Vairam… 's he..."_

_"Yeah, kid's okay. You need to get back to the palanquin and tap out for a bit, okay?"_

_"...Okay..."_

* * *


	9. Give It To Me Straight, Doc

* * *

_Good news, I managed to sleep. (_ _Bad news, I passed out.)_

_Good news! We're takin' ya to the doc! Here's Doctor Dewey!_

* * *

(The camera pans to a young man wearing sunglasses. He's wearing a short white coat.)

* * *

_He's great! Anyway, we're stopping by for Baby's First Doctor Visit **TM**. Well, maybe not first? I'm sure your parents took you to the doctor before._

_Anyways, we're popping in for a quick blood test, DNA test, all that jazz. Making sure you didn't breathe in, like, twenty pounds of concrete or something._

_That was another human joke. You did not swallow twenty pounds of concrete. Don't worry about it._

_So we should be able to find your parents soon! This might even be the last update. Imagine that._

_We had a good run, Vairam._

_Till next time._

* * *


	10. I Did This.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I did this._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Accessibility warning for vision or reading impaired: this chapter contains a minor passage with exotic formatting. These are deliberate stylistic choices and are not intended to be visually/verbally coherent.

* * *

_The search came back dead._

_I mean... the test worked. We found a match._

* * *

(He runs a hand over his face.)

* * *

_The match was me._

_The match was me._

_And a bit of Connie, too, we..._

_...when Stevonnie healed you, we must've..._

_... **oh, shards. You must have been just this side of death, and we...**_

_**...I...** _

_**...I-I-I-** _

_..._

_ I stole you. _

_Oh my stars._

_On the songs, I- I stole you._

_I'm sorry. I- I did this to you, I did this, I did this, I̴͍̰̻̿́̐̓̈́ ̵̛̜͈̭̲̙̉͆́̽̉͆̾d̷̨̨̼̩͎̟͇̜̮͌̑͜i̵͈͓̩̩͐̈d̷̳̥͉̙̺͓̤̳͇͕̼̜̠͂͑̒͋͑̅̋̌͘̕̕ͅ ̷̨͓̘͉̟̩͇̬͖̰͗͛͊̓̈͒̈́͝ṫ̴̹̃̔̒͗̇̎̌͘̕h̷̪̰̙̝̞͔̠̼̟͕̗̝͈̯͂̚į̷̲̱̪͔͓̟͚̞̠̖̯͌̅s̵͕̣̰̣͔̻̘̭̝̞̱̱̊̑͑͘ͅ ̶͔̒̏ṭ̴̫̪͊̾̉̃͂̈́̀̍̏͑͊ǫ̵̞͙͇̠̭̱̦̌̓̄̉̏́̄̊̅̉̐̕͜ ̷̨̡̩̮̫̞̻̫̗̞̣̯̜͂̃͗̚ÿ̸̨̧̛̛̫̮̺̪̱̥̤̘̞͈͓̝͌̐o̴̠̐̓́̀̇̂͒͜͝͝ư̵̼̥͉̩͔̑͒̒͆͐̇̊̏̍̈́̾͘͝-_

* * *

(The video cuts to static.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _I'm sorry, Vairam. I'm so, so sorry..._


	11. The Plan B

* * *

_So obviously I couldn't return you to any human foster system. Your case was- is- unique._

_So you- we put you under as a ward for Little Homeworld, just for a while._

_We'll have to monitor your condition, of course. Make sure there aren't any sudden... changes._

_But after that... we'll be able to find a nice Zumin family who can foster you._

_They're very kind people, you'd know by now. They'll give you a life that dances and sings among the stars. There's worse ways to live._

_..._

_I'm sorry Vairam, I tried, I really did. I hope, at least, you're happy now, wherever you are. I hope I was able to at least give you that._

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> watch me call the zoomans "zumin" just for funsies.


	12. Leave It To Me, She Said

* * *

_Peridot is no longer allowed to babysit. She tried to feed you ambrosia._

_Peridot thinks she's being scientific._

_Peridot will be strongly reminded that children are not science experiments._

_Peridot thinks she can hide from me._

_No one can hide from me._

* * *


	13. Ineffible Beauracracy

* * *

_Ech, paperwork._

_You can't see it because it's in my eyeballs, but I'm doing paperwork._

_Drafting so much stuff._

_New York was a hornfel and a half. The reconstruction, the cleanup, and now there's all this... vagary of Loki's upcoming trial._

_Odin's trying to extradite him, again. I said no, obviously._

_You're lucky, Vairam. Baby doesn't have to do paperwork._

_Baby doesn't have to pull the weight of Leviathans._

_Square up, baby. Put some work into this house, freeloader._

_I'm kidding. Human jokes. You're an absolute delight and we love to have you here._

* * *


	14. Steven, Steven, and Steven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Accessibility warning for vision or reading impaired: this chapter contains minor passages with exotic formatting. These are deliberate stylistic choices and are not intended to be visually/verbally coherent.

* * *

_So, Vairam. Checking in again._

_Had a bit of an... odd week._

* * *

Steven stands in the infinite expanse of Lion's mane.

Asteria Diamond stands across from him, holding the hand of a child- this boy, ragged and clothes-torn, he looks just shy of twelve.

Asteria Diamond steps forward. Steven steps back.

But his other's eyes are not for him. They kneel down to the level of this child, and motion a hand towards Steven.

"It's alright," a Diamond whispers. "Go to him. He's only me."

And Steven doesn't know what in the universe is going on- this strange identical self, towing a child that looks so strangely _familiar_ (why is it so familiar?). But this child is scared and hurt and in such obvious need of help, and so he kneels down and holds out his hand.

He's frightened- _so, so frightened_ , and it hurts Steven's heart something hard to see it- but the kid staggers out to him, and takes his hand, looking just as lost as he does.

Asteria Diamond leans close and kisses Steven on the cheek, and-

_"No, no, I'm sorry mother I didn't-"_

_"You think I would EVER FORGIVE HUMANITY FOR WHAT THEY-"_

_"She's already dead. Don't dig up her grave."_

_"Please, please, help, it hurts, make it stop-"_

_"I'm sorry I didn't mean to-"_

_"Was I... was I a good Steven..."_

_"You always were."_

_HELP STEVEN HELP STEVEN_

**_CONNORCONNORCONNORCONNORCONNORCONNOR_ **

Steven pulls away with a sharp flinch.

A Diamond offers no apologies, only sad understanding and grim resignation.

A Diamond presses a small box into his other's hand and whispers, " _Take care of him, Steven._ "

A Diamond breaks the Hourglass in his hands and falls away into the sands of time.

Steven looks down at the child left behind.

"Jeez." He quickly puts the box into his Gem. "That was really freaky." He pauses. "You're-" ~~d̵̢̯̣͚̹͎͕͎͈̻̙̩̊͗̆̀͊̀̒̒͘̕͝͝͝͠o̵̢̬̾͂̊͐̚͘n̸̼̟̗͍͙̭̔̓̎͐̃͜'̶̧̟̠̰̿̎̽̑͒̊̿t̴̡͓̞͍̻̹̭̱͛̋̎̍̊ ̶̨͙̪̯̩͓͉͆̈̎̀̽̏̆ş̷̛̫̠̑̾̍̃̕a̷̧̯̰̳̩̯̱̗̘̜̰̽y̸̛͈̺̋͌̎͂͛̽̔ ̸̧̝̘̺̰͓̭̗̠͚̙̂͂͜C̶̦̹̉̒̇̆̾͆̊͒̄͗̄̓͠o̴̢̨͕̩̫̞̻͚̻̬̜̓͌n̵̩̪̦̝̳͕̳̗̲̾̆̌͋̓͗͠͝ň̶̢͉̩͈̻̠͔̹͎͍̻̮̤̦̬͑̀̓͋͐̽̍̚ơ̸̮̥̭͔̼̥̰̬̜̳͙̓̊̉̓̈́̀̈́̽ŗ̴̡̛̣̟̫̳̰͈͉̒̽́̍̈́̂͆̆͠,̸̢̢̮̯̰̞̹̙̪̞̟̼͂̄̌̃̎͆̄̒ͅ ̷̧̱̥͇̟̳̫͆̿͗̉̋̄̾̕d̸͈͇̱̲̄͛̎̎̒̉̈́̀͐̐͠͝͝͠ȏ̷̡̢͈̩͉̥̞̫̬̈́̅͊n̴̛̛͙̯̰̙̎̋͋͗̌̇̄̈́̚͝͝'̷̯̗̯̞̓̌̿̀͂̏̄͋̿̈́͆̎ṯ̴̨̛͙̻̱͖̻̖̤̩̌̔̈́͊̔̿͐̍̌͘͝ ̵̨̛̙͓͈̮̝͚̻̼͙̤͌̓̒͗͐ͅs̸̢͋͂͊͑̒̍̈́͆͗̈̂̕͝a̶̢̡̛̬͈̤̬͕̤͚̟̲͐̄͊̾͐͂͘͝ͅy̷̢̛̝͕͚̣̒́̄͊̀̌͆͂̈̒̃̾͠ͅ ̴̬͚̺͕̖̻̦̳̇̋̚͜ͅC̷͓̝̘̹̞̥͕̠̮̭̯͚̮̃̍̈́̐̋͒͐̆̎͂o̴̼̒̀͆̽̋̀͆͆̐̂̎̈̃͝͝n̸̨̨̲̠̠̖̪̟̤͖͈̙̿̓̅͗͗̊̆̊͛͋̄́̾̈̌n̷̞͉͔̖̣̳͆̆̓̊̇̍̍͠ͅo̴̢̠͚̖̞̘͕̎͋̾̑̊̒̓̚͠ŗ̴̧̢̛͈͈̣̻̗̰͖̮̣̍̉̐̔͝,̶̻̞͈͍̰̱͇̙͕̲̖̔͑ ̸̢̢͈̤̜͎̎͑̑ͅD̵̛̛̪̖̜̫̻̹̤̦̙̬̦͚̼͇̐͑̓̐͒̒̓̈́͒̚͝O̴̧̫̝͓̼̱͍̫͍̼̖̊͌̓̈́̃͜N̸̢̗̣͔̭̲̠̰͖͍̘̎̉̋͋̉̆'̶̛̖̪̜͓̘͓͓̱͕̇́͌͌͌̀̓̌̎̐͘Ṯ̶̤̣̺͍̩̩̽̃͆́͆͐͐̊̇̓̒́͐ ̴̨̛̘̮̠̈́͑̄͂̀̒̽͊̊͘̚S̸̺̥̟̩̪͓̿̿̓͋͘A̶͚̖̦͛̓̅́͂̓͂̽̃͝Ÿ̶̠̣̟̍̐̌̕͝ ̶͖̞̫͖̜̭̪̭̰̱̦̱̪̭̏͜Ş̷̳̣̞̼̠̜̥͆͆Ő̴̘̩̩̳͔͇̘̣̲̗͔̳̾͒͛̏̿͋̕͜N̵̒~~ ̞͉̪̻̹̖͑͋̍̋͂̎ ~~,~~ "-Steven, right?" He looks down at the child's gem- battered and gouged but otherwise identical to his own. "I- I'm Steven, too. I guess we got a lot in common, huh?"

"Are you-" the kid ~~Steven~~ startles at the dead, stilted timbre of his own song. "-Asteria Diamond, are you- are you safe? Am I... is it safe?"

"Of course. I'll make sure of it." He sighs. "Now, we can't both go calling eachother Steven, can we? You're gonna need a real name, like..." He blinks through the old data still swimming in his head. "...Connor. You could be Connor. And... I'll be... Az. Connor and Az. How about that?"

"I..." _On the stars._ This kid is so painfully shy it _hurts._ "...okay."

"Alright, Connor," he trills softly, pulling the kid to stand. "Let's get you some real clothes to start."

* * *

_...Actually, y'know what? It's too weird to even explain. Nevermind._

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> meet connor!
> 
> he's not important _now_ , but you will be seeing him again in the series.
> 
> don't feel dumb if you don't get it. at the moment, there's nothing _to_ get. This chapter was deliberately written in a confusing, borderline misleading fashion, and the pay off of When I Explain Myself will occur _far, far_ later. like, in the next fic of the series.
> 
> as steven said, "it's too weird to explain." you don't necessarily need to understand right now what just happened, just keep it in mind for the future.


	15. Stealing From A King, The Highest Treason

* * *

_By the way, Vairam._

_We never actually see that much of eachother._

_I had a... project I was busy with?_

_I still visit whenever I can. Since you kind of don't sleep all that much, I could just pop in whenever._

_Y'know, one time you stole my vest and tie? You tried to wear it like a dress, used the tie as a sash and everything._

_Course, you had Literal Baby Hands, so you weren't that successful._

_Still funny, though. My vest straight up swallowed you like a whale._

_…I'll miss you when you're gone._

* * *


	16. On The Doctor's Orders

* * *

_Guess what, Vairam? I gotta go to the doctor._

_Haha that's right, even Diamonds gotta check in every once in a while._

_But, uh... this time it's not really for me. It's... it's for you._

_They want to compare our vitals. Use me as a baseline for what might be your normal._

_It's the least I can do after what I..._

_I..._

_I shouldn't talk like that. You aren't- you aren't some kind of burden on me, or a punishment. Please, please, whatever I might say, please don't ever think that's how I saw us._

_What's done is done. We just have to live with it._

_If I'm doing this, I'm doing this for you, not in spite of you._

_Wish me luck, I guess._

* * *


	17. Tale Of Two Brothers, Interlude- Scene I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Old pains that fade so slowly you forget you can't feel them anymore.

* * *

"Now, Steven." Priyanka squints contemplatively. "I don't want to be rude."

"You're my doctor _and_ my mother-in-law," Steven reassures. "We're a bit past rude now."

"Alright." She takes in a hiss of air, hands brought together in front of her face. "I want you to unfuse."

"W-what?" The bright line of pink that crosses his cheeks is brief, but it was there. "Why?"

"I understand that you prefer not to-"

"I really, really _would_ rather not-"

"But from what I understand, you _are_ able to unfuse without negative consequences- at least temporarily. Am I right?"

"Well- yes," he concedes. "But what brought this on? You've never asked us to do this before."

She looks through her notes. "We're doing this to calculate a baseline for the John Doe, correct?"

"Morion Vairam, yes."

"There's so few cases of people who have been so- _saturated_ with ichor, for lack of a better term. Of course there's Lars, but he's out in deep space right now, and we certainly can't use _Lion_ as a human baseline. So Sten is the closest one we have." Her voice takes on a more sober note. " _And_ it might be useful, either way, to have an established baseline for Sten, in case anything like the rejuvenator happens again."

Something carefully blank settles over his face.

"I don't mean to be cruel," she tries to reassure. "I'm just advising you to be prepared."

"I-" His expression clicks back into place. "-of course. I understand. Just-" he holds his hands together. "-you might want to look away. It's a bit of a light show."

=<>=

Sten looks at Vendan.

He is still Vendan. He is still the geometric render of a flower on his left hand, the mark of a flower under his collarbone. He is still every freckle ( _they are not freckles, but_ _scars- corruption came for them both, and they will carry its parting gifts forever_ ) they share. He is the stray hibiscus earring, ivory-colored, on his right ear. He is still a Diamond's eyes- vivid, bright, almost rose red.

But he is changed.

The skin of his form is porcelain pale. His hair curls like the crown of a rose and it is a dark, cherryish pink, darker then Steven's.

Vendan looks at Sten.

He is still Sten. He is the flower on his right hand, the five petals under his collar. He is all their claws and their fangs and freckled scars. He is still a Diamond's eyes- dark, dark eyes, dark as night and all things in it. He is the stray hibiscus earring on his left ear.

But he is changed, he looks- he's like...

...like Lion. Like Lars, he looks 

pink, and

Vendan does not panic.

He does not choke.

He does not shake as he takes his brother by the side of the throat and he does not agonize as he waits for a heart to beat. To feel ichor run under the skin.

Vendan does not allow himself to be frightened at the sight of his brother cloaked in all the colors of death. **He does not allow it.**

Sten's white clawed hand reaches for his own. " _It's alright, brother._ "

And for the first time in their life, Sten's voice is not weak enough to shake.

**"I-"**

Vendan does not stutter. He does not choke. He has no uncertainty. **He will not.**

**" _Are_ you alright?"**

Sten raises his hands between themselves. There's not a single tremor to be found.

" _It doesn't hurt,_ " he half whispers. His song is relief, disbelief, and just this side of _fear._ " _It doesn't hurt..._ "

"I take it," Priyanka just barely interrupts, "we've just stumbled on some _very_ good news."

* * *


	18. Tale Of Two Brothers, Interlude- Scene II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some things are better said in person.

* * *

**"Hello father."**

"Hey SteveeEEEENDAN?!"

**"Yes. Hello."** He looks a little _different_ than he did the last time they met- a little less Hologram Of Steven and more like... a person. **"I am Vendan."**

Greg tries not to panic- Vendan would know better than anyone if things were okay Steven-side, and he seems fine. Sure, he looks as wide-eyed and impassive as he usually did, but he _is_ capable of subtler expressions of distress, and there's not a bit of it on his face.

"You're… unfused?"

**"Yes."**

It's a bit like talking to one of those internet bots- Vendan (and Sten too, probably) isn't quite inclined to speak to anyone other than his other half, not without a lot of prompting. "You've unfused. Is this just... something you can do now?" Vendan nods. "Alrighty then." _Time to go away now, near heart attack._ "That's good, right?"

Vendan hums vaguely in assent.

"Cool, cool." Greg falls back into his lawn chair with a slight huffing gasp. " _Oh thank god._ "

**"Are you alright?"**

"Maybe don't surprise me like that in the future," Greg half wheezes. "Had me half thinking Steven died while I wasn't looking."

**"Ah."** _That_ manages to smooth his son's expression even more. **"If it comforts you, I near fainted from shock myself when I realized."**

"You know what? That _does_ help. Petty, but true."

**"I probably deserved that."**

"Hah! Sheer heart attacks all around. Fun for the whole family." He sits back up with a crack of his shoulders. "Where'd Sten run off to, anyway? You're usually half glued together."

**"He went to buy you donuts."** At that, Vendan looks off into the distance. **"In hindsight, I think I arrived earlier than I should have."**

" _Probably._ Want a soda while we wait?"

**"I... have not eaten in this form before."**

Greg opens up his can of cashews, jingling it in Vendan's direction. "Good a time as any to start."

* * *


	19. Tale Of Two Brothers, Interlude- Scene III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Too happy.

* * *

Steven loses all pretense of normal human walking and gives in to his weightless, galloping gait as he bounds toward her.

He takes her by the shoulders.

"CONNIE."

She takes another bite into her sandwich. "Yeah?"

"Connie. My Connie." There's a weirdly intense look on his face. " _I can unfuse._ "

"Could've done it the whole time," she drawls, taking another bite of her sandwich, "but okay."

"No, you don't understand." There's a flash of light.

_"We can unfuse."_

**"We can unfuse."**

"Oh."

She takes another bite of her sandwich, before her eyes bolt open and she nearly drops her lunch in shock.

"WAIT, HOLY FUCK-"

=<>=

Sten puts his face next to Lion's, comparing their matching colors. _"Look at our son,"_ his song laughs. " _he took after_ _me."_

**"This feels unfair."**

"Just accept your son doesn't look like you, Vendan."

Sten laughs into Lion's mane.

=<>=

Their song is strong.

Vendan's song rings low, low and clear and carrying, a purr of orchestral strings.

For the first time in their lives, they can hear the truth of Sten's song, unhindered by pain and fear and _fragile, so so fragile._

Sten's song rings tenor, it rolls vibrato, it rings high and clear and _alive, alive,_ _alive._

=<>=

Sten's steps are unsteady first. He has never been able to stand on his own before, but he can learn how.

Connie's bow flies across the strings of her violins, and two brothers take eachother's hands and _dance._

=<>=

"You're smiling."

**"Oh."**

It is small, closed, but his eyes are as wide as ever. Vendan's smile is this open, young, _brittle_ thing, and Connie silently swears to kill whatever would dare raise a hand to harm it.

**"I just..."**

Sten wrestles with Lion against the sand.

**"I'm so glad."**

There's something soft and fragile in his song and it _breaks_ then, and as Connie turns to look at him- he's crying.

Ichored tears fall on the boardwalk, pushing life into the seeds hidden between sidewalk cracks.

**"I- I- I-"**

"Hey, hey, _hey._ Vendan." She takes him by his hand (different than Steven's- his form rings just so slightly into the flesh of her arms). "Come on, look at me."

He looks up and she sees it. That wide-eyed boyish smile still on his face, even as the diamonds of his eyes blur with tears.

**"I'm too happy,"** his song wavers, **I'm too happy..."**

_Oh, Vendan._

She lets his tears fall into her shirt, even as he ruins it a bit with the curl of his claws.

Sten's laughter rings high and clear against the sea- _strong, strong, strong._

* * *


	20. The Smile On Your Face Was Called Music

* * *

_We were with Greg the other day._

_Didn't tell you about Greg yet, did I? He's a human who lives with us Gems, he's... a friend._

_Greg is good._

_Maybe you could meet him one day, if this ever pans out. If you ever wanted to see us again._

_Anyway, Greg. He's a real music man. A music maker himself. Haha, maybe that's why he gets on so well with our type, Gems are all about music._

_You liked him. Greg let you listen to his tunes on some headphones when we stopped by._

_The look on your face, if only you could have seen it. Like you'd never heard anything more beautiful in your life._

_...I'm glad._

_I'm glad I got to give you this._

_You deserve nice things._

_You..._

_You really do, Vairam._

* * *


	21. Dead-Eyes

* * *

_Jeez, you're kind of mad at me right now._

_Uhh..._

_I was sleeping, and I think you kind of slapped me on the gem? Freaked me out._

_I woke up kind of jumpy, y'know. Spooky bright eyes, good ol' crosshairs and everything._

_You screamed. And now you kind of don't wanna be around me right now._

_Guess I kind of deserved it._

_I scared you. Sorry._

_Won't happen again._

* * *


	22. Sweet Mercy, I Can't Even, HA-

* * *

(The camera is shaking.)

* * *

_I can't- I don't even-_

* * *

(His song rings with laughter.)

* * *

_You tried- you tried to eat one of the poor Pebbles-_

* * *


	23. Happy Christmas I Guess

* * *

_It is currently.._.

* * *

(He yawns.)

* * *

_...4 in the morning, and I have made... 36 yule logs. It's not even Yule._

_It's not even December._

_I don't know why i did this._

_..._

_Why are there so many apples in the fridge-_

* * *


	24. Pearl Is A Scoundrel And A Hypocrite And She Can Square Up,

* * *

_Pearl told me you won't stop staring at her._

_Pearl doesn't have a leg to stand on._

_Pearl watches people while they sleep, so she can step off._

_You heard me Pearl._

_I know what you did._

_You aren't sneaky._

_You can step up or you can square up-_

* * *


	25. No Son Of Mine!

* * *

_In other news, Vairam. You are surprisingly unafraid of 12 foot tall living cacti, I don't know if this is a good thing or not._

_Also, you got into a screaming contest with a goat._

_I don't know what I expected, honestly._

* * *


	26. You Said...

* * *

_You-_

_I..._

_I-I-I-I..._

_You called me..._

_you said I-_

* * *

Steven holds Vairam up, the child's black curls waving to inches from his own face. His expression is a bit more Vendan than anything else at the moment.

**"Talk,"** he jokingly commands.

* * *

_You said I-I-I-_

_...you called me baba. You said I was..._

* * *

(The camera cuts to static and the sound of halting sobs.)

* * *


	27. I Don't Understand, Why Am I...

* * *

_Why am I so scared of you?_

_Why am I so terrified?_

_I don't understand..._

_I don't understand..._

* * *


	28. I Still Don't Understand.

* * *

_I'm terrified._

_I'm terrified of what this means._

_I'm terrified of all the ways I could hurt you. The ways I might have already hurt you._

_And I..._

_...I don't understand this. Maybe I won't ever understand this._

_But I want to._

_Because it's not about me, is it?_

_It's not about what I could do- about what I have done. _

_It's about you._

_From now on, it's always gonna be about you._

_I... I want this. I wanted this._

_Whatever else I said before, whatever else you're gonna hear- I wanted this._

_I'm not ready._

_I-I don't know if I'll ever be ready. But... I'm ready to try?_

_Because you were worth it, Vairam. You were always worth it._

_Vairam._

_Morion Vairam..._

_...Maheswaran._

_I don't think we've met, not really._

_My name is Steven Universe._

_My name is Steven Universe, and..._

* * *

(His name is Asteria Diamond. His name is Steven Universe, and he smiles.)

* * *

_...I'm your dad._

_And I can't wait to meet the person you're gonna be._

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Comment, critique, and despaired cries all welcome.  
> Join the Discord server for draft bits, behind the scenes nonsense, yearning questions of my questionable literary choices, and future stories.  
> https://discord.gg/xdhnqKj  
> This series now has a dedicated written timeline for the curious in the series companion guide, which is the last "fic" listed in the series page.


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